The "Glow" of Pregnancy

 After returning back home from our little vacation, it was exciting to have such great news of being pregnant. When we got back we went up to LaVerkin to spend New Year's with my mom, since we felt bad she was left out for Chirstmas. We were orginally suppose to go up to a New Year's Party up in Randolph with the Pearts to celebrate a memorial for my grandfather. However, it was unexpectantly cancelled. I was really looking forward to it and we also planned to go to a Jazz game while we were up there. With the party cancelled and tired from our previous trip, we decided to take it easy and stay with my mom for a bit. We surprised her with a baby present, and she was extremely excited. We then returned back to Vegas and told his parents, they were excited as well. I too was still on my high of excitement and started making Baby goals of things I wanted to accomplish before it came, and goals for pregnancy like start working out.  So the next morning I woke up and rode on our stationary bike and was so gun hoe. Well I was about 5 weeks at this time almost 6. I was talking to my sister Loni and she told me how about 6 weeks hit, that she started feeling the nausia and morning sickness. Well curse her, because right around my 6 week mark my high on being pregnancy came to a low, and the honeymoon was over. I felt nausiac, I didn't like to eat most foods, only really bland food and I totally craved Mcdonalds cheeseburgers and fries, healthy I know. I forced myself to go to work everyday. Everyday I wanted to call in sick, and it was hard to have the energy to endure. I started to wonder why women claimed to love being pregnant. I was tired, I was sick, my nose was constantly congested, I couldn't sleep at night, I had to pee all the time, and I had bad gas, sorry TMI... the list goes on. I literally would go to work, come home and go to bed, rest and sleep then do it all over again. It was depressing. I am one who loves to live life, and I felt like I was barely excistenting. Then my memory and brain was shot, I would be in the middle of a sentence or at work trying to come off professional and just have a blank. I didn't realize how selfish I am and that it was hard for me to give up control of my body and share it with my child that is growing and developing. It was hard to surrender and accept that I was physically limited of what I could do all day, despite my desire to do more. I had to accept that what I was doing was much bigger and grander than the daily to do's, but this is a hard concept to come to, to submit to. So needless to say I was going through some real physical, emotional and mental changes. And also, my poor hormones. I was more sensitive and more easily irritated. Nathan was a good sport and trooper, he did what he could to help me feel comfortable and was just sweet to just be with me, it makes a difference, I couldn't imagine doing this alone.
Then one week, once I was coming out of the first trimester, my body was getting used to the hormones (so they say) and I wasn't as nauseas and I had more energy. I caught a bug and got so sick, so back to being bed bound on the weekend. One day I just had a melt down and starting crying. I was so tired of not feeling good, it gave me so much more appreciation for having my health and for those women with mulitipe children, especially my own mother... how did they do it?!
But I accompllished my goal and the whole first tri-mester did not have one sick day, except a half sick day for my first doctor's visit, where I was already like 10 weeks along. So it was like mastering my own kind of marathon or challenge. At the end of all of this venting and complaining. I am so glad I had morning sickness, knowing I have an opportunity to create life and become a mother. I am so very excited and feel very blessed.